Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Randomize
