During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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