Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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