My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
