Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
