just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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