# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize