you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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