Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
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Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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