i barfeds in our rink
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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