Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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