Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
