I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I think i got beer on your cat.
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