Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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