You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
