Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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