She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
