Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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