She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
