and you said cock pushups were impossible
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
