after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
