Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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