You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
