You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
