when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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