i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
