Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
