Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
