he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Randomize