Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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