I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
