It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
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When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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