Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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