I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Blood and glitter go together right?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
