Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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