what day is it and did you see me today?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize