ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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