Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
