Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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