I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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