bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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