After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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