i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
