Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
