I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
