If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
