i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
