now i know why i became what i already was.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
