Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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