You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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