my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
