dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I want to have your abortion
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
