So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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