I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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