Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Still dying that you shit outside
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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