Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Randomize
