When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
