The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
