She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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