Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
