he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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