My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
