I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
