jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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