she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize