Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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