Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
